segunda-feira, 7 de abril de 2014

This is Interesting. Have you ever though about that?


It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears out and can be recycled an infinite amount of times!

Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years .

Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end .

If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals.

Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.

The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnightin almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the new year.

Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent.

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F.

The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.

Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean.

The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man.

Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density.

The University of Alaska spans four time zones.

The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.

In ancient Greece , tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.

Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright to the song Happy Birthday.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

A comet's tail always points away from the sun.

The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent.

Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, that is why it is found in some medicines.

The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knights in armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.

If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can see stars, even in the middle of the day.

When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost is sight.

In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.

Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.

Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundred grams.

The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year.

The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust.

Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 meters.

Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy .

Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down.

Everything weighs one percent less at the equator.

For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg of excess fuel are needed at lift-off.

The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.

If you like the above, pass it on to others.....


Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Baptising an Irishman


A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river.
He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,
'Are you ready to find Jesus?'
The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'


So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water.
He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?'
The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.'
The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer.


He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus me brother?'
The drunk again answers, 'No,oi I haven't found Jesus.'
By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up.. The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?'
(Are you ready for this????)

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you sure dis is where he fell in?'


Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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An Old man's poem

Little Poem, so true it hurts!

Another year has passed
And we're all a little older.
Last summer felt hotter
And winter seems much colder.

There was a time not long ago
When life was quite a blast.
Now I fully understand
About 'Living in the Past'

We used to go to weddings,
Football games and lunches..
Now we go to funeral homes
And after-funeral brunches.

We used to have hangovers,
From parties that were gay.
Now we suffer body aches
And wile the night away.

We used to go out dining,
And couldn't get our fill.
Now we ask for doggie bags,
Come home and take a pill.

We used to often travel
To places near and far.
Now we get sore asses
From riding in the car.

We used to go to nightclubs
And drink a little booze.
Now we stay home at night
And watch the evening news.

That, my friend is how life is,
And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up...
Before you're too damned old!



Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Irish Golfer

A golfer playing in Ireland hooked his
drive into the woods. Looking for his ball,
he found a little Leprechaun flat on his back,
a big bump on his head and the golfer's ball
beside him.



Horrified, the golfer got his water bottle from
the cart and poured it over the little guy,
reviving him.

"Arrgh! What happened?" the Leprechaun asked.

"I'm afraid I hit you with my golf ball," the golfer says.

"Oh, I see. Well, ye got me fair and square.
Ye get three wishes, so whaddya want?"

"Thank God, you're all right!" the golfer
answers in relief. "I don't want anything,
I'm just glad you're OK, and I apologise."

And the golfer walks off.

"What a nice guy," the Leprechaun says to himself.

"I have to do something for him. I'll give him
the three things I would want... a great golf game,
all the money he ever needs, and a fantastic sex life."

A year goes by and the golfer is back.
On the same hole, he again hits a bad drive into
the woods and the Leprechaun is there waiting for him.

"Twas me that made ye hit the ball here,"
the little guy says. "I just want to ask ye, how's yer golf game?"

"My game is fantastic!" the golfer answers.
"I'm an internationally famous golfer now."
He adds, "By the way, it's good to see you're
all right."

"Oh, I'm fine now, thank ye. I did that fer yer golf game, you know. And tell me, how's yer money situation?"

"Why, it's just wonderful!" the golfer states.
"When I need cash, I just reach in my pocket and pull out $100 bills I didn't even know were there!"

"I did that fer ye also. And tell me, how's yer sex life?"

The golfer blushes, turns his head away in embarrassment, and says shyly, "It's OK."

"C'mon, c'mon now," urged the Leprechaun, "I'm wanting to know if I did a good job. How many times a week?"

Blushing even more, the golfer looks around then whispers,

"Once, sometimes twice a week."

"What?" responds the Leprechaun in shock..
"That's all? Only once or twice a week?"

"Well," says the golfer, "I figure that's not bad for a Catholic priest in a small parish.."


Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Creating a password:-

Creating a password:-

                      


cabbage Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

boiled cabbage 
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

1 boiled cabbage 
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

50fuckingboiledcabbages 
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

50FUCKINGboiledcabbages 
Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArse,IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessImmediately 
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

NowIAmGettingReallyPissedOff50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourArseIfYou
DontGiveMeAccessImmediately 
Sorry, that password is already in use!



Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Men are deep thinkers

What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying
'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are
deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case.
Time for another beer.

Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Is GOD great or what!?

When God sends you help, don't ask questions.
She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside.
The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said, "I don't know how to use this."
She bowed her head and asked God to send her some HELP. Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up, driven by a bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag.
He got off of his cycle and asked if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in My car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was open. She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out Of PRISON yesterday; I was in prison for car theft."
The woman hugged the man again sobbing, "Oh, thank you, God! You even sent me a Professional!"

Is GOD great or what!?



Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)

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Taxman Cometh

Taxman Cometh

At  the end of the tax year, the Tax Office sent a tax inspector to audit the books of a local hospital.

While the taxman was checking the books, he turned to the  executive of the hospital and said
“I notice you buy a lot of bandages. I imagine there's a lot of wastage there. What do  you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any  use?"

"Good  question," noted the executive. "We save them up and send them back

to the  bandage company and every once in a while, they send us a free roll."

"Oh,"  replied the taxman, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a  practical answer.

However, he was now well mounted on his favourite hobby horse and ready to be critical.“What about all these  plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on  a patient?"

"Ah, yes," replied the executive, who actually hadn't a clue, but rising to the challenge he said, "We  save that too, and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they send us a  free bag of plaster.."

"My, my, an answer for everything!" responded the auditor, who also fancied himself a bit of a wit. "What do you do with all  the remains from the circumcision surgeries?"

"Here, too, we do not  waste," answered the executive. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and  send them to the tax office, and about once a year they send us a complete  prick." 



Fonte/Source: Received by email
Image/Imagem: Google Images
Translation/Tradução: Heinz Claudius (when applicable)


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